How to be Friends with Jesus

I feel really connected to someone when we're riding in the car listening to a song we both know. We start to sing it. The chorus comes and the gusto ensues. There's head-bobbing and fists for microphones. Creative hand movements emerge as well as attempts to make instrumental sounds with our mouth. We serenade each other and if we're feeling really audacious, we sing to the person in the next car.

Maybe we're off key, mumbling through words, and the back seat friend is shaking their head, but we don't care. We are vulnerable and free in that moment and that's the way we like it. 

Something crazy to think about is that you can have that kind of friendship with the Creator of the universe. Yes, you can. It seems impossible, but that's the very reason you're alive right now. God wants you. It's like the lame kid at school hanging out with the popular kid. It's like the poor man and the rich man sharing a meal. It's beautiful.

It's also simple. It might seem complicated, but it's not. A friendship with Jesus looks more like singing in the car and less like fancy, distant prayers and lofty speech about the Bible.

But let's not get crazy. You've gotta pray and read the Bible. How can you be friends with someone if you don't talk (pray) or know about them (Bible)? If you're pursuing a friendship with Jesus and you're not doing those things consistently, then that needs to change. You also need to be friends with his friends (church). Yep, you outta go to church, too.

But on the other hand, let's do get crazy. Tell him everything you wouldn't tell anyone else and say it the way you need to say it. Honestly, Jesus isn't impressed with cute prayers. No lip service here. He wants you to be real. Once, I was talking to him about something frustrating. I said "bull crap" over and over again while I ground my teeth and punched something. Why? I was being honest in front of my friend. I can boldly talk to the King in all His glory, still revere him, and be utterly vulnerable all at once.

When I mess up, yeah he's not happy about it, but he's forgiving and patient. He never nags and will never condescend. He usually says "You know, that's okay... you're more than that and you'll make it next time." If I don't realize that I'm messing up, he kindly lets me know and encourages me to step up my game.  I don't perform in order to be accepted. I'm accepted already, so I perform. He gives the power to overcome things that distract and trip me. Little by little, I'm changing and my new DNA I got when we first became friends is beginning to show up in my character. That's what happens.

"If anyone is in Christ they are a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

The bottom line is we work so hard at our relationships with people. Text messages and phone calls, likes and retweets, lunch dates, movie nights, jam sessions, book clubs, fist bumps and bear hugs. What about Jesus? He's like the friend we invite to our house who awkwardly sits on the couch while we're consumed by life on a screen. We need to realize his presence. Realize that he speaks your language. He laughs at that YouTube video with such vivacious laughter. He coaches you while you're running up that hill at the park. He compliments the way you look while getting ready in the morning. He reminds you to pay that bill. He gives you strength to keep going during an ugly, confusing time.

You can be someone and do things beyond what you'd ever think.
Jesus loves you and he paid for your freedom with his life.

He wants to live with you in this life and in eternity.
Friendship with Jesus is the only life that will fill the emptiness that the greatest things on earth could never fill.

"This is the way to have eternal life--to know you the only true God and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth." John 17:3

What do I want the most?

I started writing down a bunch of questions to serve as writing prompts for myself (because I really don't like journaling about daily stuff).

This is the first one I've chosen.

It's not really an easy question to answer. I could answer it by emphasizing that it's wrong to desire temporary things when for years of my life, I've pondered how those things are not worth pursuing. At least not where eternity is concerned. But no matter how much that truth has been trudging through the labyrinth of my mind, it seems like it's still finding it's way to my soul. I always find myself wanting.

"This is not enough." "That's not what I imagined it to be." "Am I good enough?" "Am I intelligent?" "Am I beautiful?" "Am I a good person?" "Do they accept me?" "Am I doing enough good things?"

These inconspicuous questions permeate my life and I don't have to force myself to think and act on them. It seems like my inherent mission in life is to make people happy with me. Even as a two-year-old, I would arbitrarily ask mom and dad, "Are you happy?" I'm not sure if I wanted to know if they were happy with me or just if they were happy in general. Of course, I don't remember asking this, but this question was obviously emerging internally without an external cause.

So what do I want the most? I think, just like every single human on the planet who has ever lived, whether they were being truthful about it or not; I.... we... we all want an applause.

We want people to recognize our desirable personality traits, our pretentious intelligence, our physical attractiveness, and our new clothes we bought last week. We want money, status, talent, experiences, degrees, cars, houses, trophy spouses, and beautiful children.

For what?

So someone will stop and say, "Hey! Great job at life!" I know this is absolutely true for me. I really want to be perfect so I can like myself and impress a boat load of people. What if I stopped trying to be perfect and started to understand that I have the applause of One person? Why isn't the applause of God what I chase after?

I think I'm gradually learning and understanding what His approval feels like and I'm learning about it by facing rejection.

When I'm just not good enough, I have to choose to step away from the pit of self-loathing and sit in His lap. When I'm forgotten, I have to give up my resentment and jealousy so I can take on the awareness of His consistent presence. When I'm misunderstood and the feelings of utter loneliness ensue, I hear Him say "I know you." When I completely fail and I deserve the deepest shame and humiliation, He places a crown of splendor on my head.

What do I want the most?
I want approval from the One who loves perfectly.

When I Get to Heaven

In Heaven, everything (food, health, emotions, relationships, entertainment, travel, education, government, opportunities for success) will be better than it is here times infinity. Lately, I've been spending my in-between-obligations-time thinking about it. These are some of the dreams of Heaven I've pictured in my mind. I'm not saying that these concepts can be found in Scripture, but I am saying that this life here, this litter box of a place we think is home, is nothing.

When I get to Heaven....

Maybe I'll be a seven-year-old child. If not, then I will be the most lively, jubilant, free spirit I've ever seen.

I will have my own personal angel who sings to me. On a scale of 1 to 10, his singing is one billion, two-hundred million, seven hundred sixty-one thousand, four hundred twenty-seven. The kind of singing that makes flowers pop out of the ground and bloom.

There will be live music in nearly every part of the city; like open air concerts. Whoever is playing whatever kind of music, you just have to walk there and watch them. It will be the greatest musical talent that ever was. They will sing creative, original lyrics that have deep meaning. Every song will be a story that hits home.

People from all kinds of places will be there. People from the North, South, East, and West. People representing all of the 7,000 languages of the world (not to mention languages that have passed away). People who wear wraps on their heads. People with dark skin, tan skin, ivory skin. People who make their own homes (except they won't have to here). People who wear suits and people who wear plain white t-shirts. People who like football and people who like a good book. I will get to meet them, eat with them, dance with them, make music with them, and share stories with them. And we'll talk and sing and laugh and eat and dance for a long time. Maybe several weeks will pass and we won't even realize it.
Maybe we'll decide to play a few games of ultimate Frisbee on the surface of a near by lake. We'll launch each other into the air and come crashing beneath the water.

Everyone will be so drunk with the Holy Spirit, that not even the most critical person will find a reason for criticism. Everyone will think that every other person is the most amazing creation in the realm of existence. There will be no ideal body type or personality. The tall, slender, white female idealism will be completely gone. Even the freckle-iest, frumpiest, twirpy-iest, physical "impeferctions" will be replaced with perfections. Green eyes will be even greener, blue eyes, bluer, black eyes like deep ebony, and brown eyes will be browner. They will shine with radiance and captivate anyone who looks.

I will meet with friends and relatives who had passed away while I was on earth and witness the inexpressible joy between reunited family members hugging, crying, and wiping each other's tears of joy.

My heroes will be there. I plan to sit underneath a tree on a Persian rug with Queen Esther and some others like Corrie Ten Boom, Amy Carmichael, and Rosa Parks. I will spend hours listening to them talk of stories of their moments of fear and courage. I will go for a run with Eric Liddell. Elisabeth Elliot will ask me to co-author a book. I'll shoot some hoops with Jeremy Lin (because I'll actually enjoy basketball). Keith Green will teach me how to play piano and write Jesus songs. Noah will help me build a tree house. Joseph will help me build several sets of book cases, tables, and chairs for my house. From the most famous heroes of the faith to those who I've never heard of... they'll all be there and we will be good friends.

No one will ever feel alone nor will they feel too overwhelmed by being around so many people for such a long time. I won't feel like I need some alone time to recharge, but, at the same time, will be completely understood by my billions and billions of friends if I want to go alone on a month-long (or however they'll measure that) venture on my horse (or unicorn) through the mountains. On the other side of the mountains, I'll ride to the beach that stretches for several miles. There, I'll meet my Love. My Jesus. We'll walk along the beach holding hands, talking about our deepest desires, singing old hymns, start a fire, and star gaze. We'll decide to go swimming and then we'll dive deep under the surface of the ocean and swim miles deep. We won't come back up until after a few days pass.

When we get back to the beach, He'll pull out the blueprints of an enormous sand castle. We don't rush to finish. We have all of eternity.

I'll travel back to my house because beginning with the next sunrise, I'll start working on my 27th Ph.D. I will be an expert in pretty much every field of study that I have a slight inclination towards: psychology, linguistics, anatomy, physiology, botany, chemistry, etymology, music theory, economics, the study of insects, the history of the world, literature, philosophy, the supernatural, art, astronomy, culinary arts, pedagogy, mechanical/electric engineering, anthropology, geology, medicine, animal science, physics, sociology, architecture, and... well... whatever else I can possibly be an expert about.

I'll be a teacher of all of these subjects and my students will be extremely motivated so I won't have to incorporate the grading system into their education. I'll also be a student. I long to attend a class taught by C.S. Lewis, Martin Luther, Deitrich Bonhoffer, G.K. Chesterton, A.W. Tozer, or Ralph Waldo Emerson.

We won't really have to do any research (unless we just wanna have some fun) because all truth is archived somewhere in some gargantuan library, not to mention Jesus will be there to tell us everything we want to know. Especially all the questions concerning theology that anyone ever pondered. Theologians will finally be able to reach a plausible... or... logical.... or.... I don't know.... the right conclusion about all those bothersome questions we wrestled with and lost sleep over.

After a day at the university or work or play, everyone goes the the main arena in the capital. Some people prefer to walk there in large groups. Some people like to jump from tree top to tree top. Some like to do back strokes in mid air. Some just like to run there really, really, really fast. By the time they arrive, you'd think they'd have wind burn. They don't.

The most exciting event goes on here. An enormous, jubilant, energetic worship service with everyone from every corner of the New Earth assembled. A parade starts descending down the long aisles of the arena. There are dancers and instrumentalists that are familiar to us when we lived on earth such as African choirs, river dancers, Spaniards on guitars, bag pipes, and blue grass bands. There are also thousands of instruments and styles that are completely different from the norm. The kind of instruments King Jehoshaphat's armies played while marching into battle.

Sometimes there is so much energy and emotion from the music and at other times, the music completely stops, but everyone there is still on fire with love for the Mighty One. Those who were once reluctant hand-raisers are now jumping up and down and shouting constantly.  Tears of joy and loud singing seem to never end. Others may be sitting down with their faces buried in their hands rocking back and forth. Others seem to just stand still and smile with wonder.

Then He comes out and stands the midst of his beloved church. Everyone is completely silent and longing to hear the sound of His voice. He starts to preach.... I mean preach. There has never been anyone so passionate and sincere. The whole place is illuminated and gets brighter and brighter as the people clap and receive revelation and understanding. The love is thick. You can almost touch it. The discouragement and doubt and setbacks that I fought before coming here never came back again after I heard and understood so much truth.

There is a huge feast after the powerful, exciting church service. The food is so delicious and satisfying, sometimes when people eat it, tears run down their face. There's no limit. People usually go back for twenty-eth helpings. After you're ready to stop eating, there's an extravagant ballroom with a full orchestra and choirs of angels. Evening gowns and tuxedos are there for everyone. When I put on a dress here, in Heaven, I don't feel a hint of self-consciousness. My King is enthralled and ravished by me. We dance together all evening. No romantic moment I could ever imagine compares with this.

He is my treasure, my reward, my confidence, and my desire. The best thing about Heaven will be Him. The one who made a way for me to be with Him. He is the only way and the only fulfillment. All of my sin and regret and condemnation is dissolved because of His sacrifice.

When I get to Heaven, I will be with Him.

But until then, I'll wait for Him. I will serve Him and worship Him here. I will compel other people to chase after Him because He is the only way to eternal life. It is impossible to be good enough to deserve life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Where are you going after your life here is over? You don't want to miss Heaven. Please. Give your life to Jesus and follow Him for the rest of your days. He has promises for you.

Conversations: Nassau, Bahamas

On the plane from Nashville to Atlanta
*owner of an information technology company originally from India.

"I'm a practicing Hindu. My wife is very religious and so is my son. I got serious about it when I married my wife and have been consistent ever since... Shivah is the main deity I believe in."

"That's interesting. So, do you know anything about Jesus?"

"Actually, when I was a child, I lived in Sri Lanka for a few years. My father was in the military so our family moved around quite a bit. My siblings and I attended a church every week and I heard a lot of Bible stories from the teachers there. They're not  faded memories, I mean, I have very vivid memories of the stories about Jesus."

"Wow, that's cool. What do you think about him now?"

"Well, they told me that he was God. Not so sure now. But I think it's great that you believe in him so strongly. I think everyone needs something to believe in. If they don't, they're lost."

*still praying for him to know Jesus as God.


Next to the cruise ship quay downtown Nassau (Bahamas)
*young Bahamian guy

"Yeah, I'm backslidden. I'm not living for Jesus and if I died today, I would go to Hell."

"You know you don't have to. You can change that right now."

"Yeah, but I'm just gonna wait for the right timing. Not today."

"That's kind of risky. What if the end comes before you're ready?"

"Well, I just won't be ready. I don't want to change today. Not today."

"What's the thing that's stopping you from following Jesus?"

"It's just.... I'm not ready."

"Ok... well... we're here talking to you right now because we don't want you to go to Hell. We want you to be saved and start a real relationship with Jesus. We don't want to preach down at you. We just really care about you."

....*head nod, pursed lips*


College of the Bahamas sitting under a gazebo
*college girl, giving her a survey

"So this is the most important question: If you died today, do you know where you would spend eternity?"

".......uh.....no......ok, so I have a question. If you get saved, can you lose it?

"Well, it's kind of like when you decide to get on a boat. God's not gonna keep you on there if you change your mind and don't wanna be on it anymore."

"So... I could lose it?"

"Yeah... basically... you make that decision."

"Oh... *nods head, serious look*... ok. Go ahead, what's the next survey question?"

*at the end of the survey, my friend and I prayed with her to be set free from whatever was separating her from God.


Nassau Airport, Gate C51
*traveling muscian

"So do you ever go to any churches when you travel?"

"....*shakes head, smiles warmly*....No, I don't really believe in anything. I'm originally Hindu, but since I moved to California, I just follow my heart."

"Has your heart ever lead you in the wrong direction?"

"No. Never."

"Not even one time that you can remember? Have you thought about it before?"

"I don't think. I just do." *casual shoulder shrug

".......So.... where do you think you would go if your life ended today?"

"I don't think about that."

"What if you....?"

"I don't like this project. Let's start a new project."

"....Ok.... uh.... well, how long have you been playing the bamboo flute?"


Seaside outdoor restaurant
*waiter who just read our message written in ketchup: "Thanks for excellent service. Jesus loves you."

"Oh wow." *big smile

"You like it?"

"I'll have to show it to the guys in the back." *starts walking away

"Sir! Are you a Christian?"

"Does goin' to church count?"

".....uh.... no... not really." *smirk

"It's been years since I was really livin' for him. I've been waiting for the right time to come back to him."

"Well....*suggestive smile*....how bout now?"

*he prayed with us and decided to start living for Jesus again.



Great spring break mission trip to the Bahamas with the best campus ministry in the world. Lots of good conversations no matter what the end results were. We trust that the Holy Spirit is still working. Our team members collectively saw 75 salvations/re-dedications.


You can share your faith, too. Christians are called do it. Go ahead.

The Door Knocker

I'm just like any other person. I have a first and last name, biological parents, a social security number, some education, a drivers license, and a first-aid certification that expired a few years ago. There's not much to me, but I've carried a lot of junk over the years just like most people. I've hurt people and people have hurt me. I've been sick many times and had pain in my body for years. It seems like money's always tight. Sometimes I get those deep thinking moments. Not that often, but sometimes. And sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I'm worried about different things.

I live in a biggish, smallish city in the middle-ish part of the country with a medium size population of citizens. The crime rate isn't sky-high, but there are definitely some hard characters in certain parts of town. There are also really good characters. I've met a lot of them. Really kind and friendly people who will listen to you and give you advice. But there's one character that lives in this town who's unlike anyone else.

I've heard about him my whole life, but I've never met him. I haven't seen him, but people always say that he's one of a kind. I've heard stories about how he gives generously to poor folks. He's a doctor, too. Some one else said that he's one of those psychologists. He lets children play in his front yard and he sometimes appears at local bookstores to read stories to them. The city's orchestra performed an original composition written by him. Even some of his paintings and sculptures have appeared in the town's annual art festival.

Once, I visited an elderly woman's house and saw the most beautiful book shelf in her living room. She claimed that he made it for her and gave it as a gift. He even planted a flower garden in her backyard. The woman said that he was the most charitable, kind-hearted, yet mysterious man she had ever met. I've heard many people describe him as "strange." They've said that he's just a lonely man who enjoys watching people from his window and reading books all day--maybe even challenging himself to a game of chess from time to time.I've never known what to think of him. I was always awful curious about him. If I could just get a good look at him, maybe even say hello and introduce myself, then maybe I could have my own opinion about him.

One day I decided that I wanted to meet him face to face. I took a walk to his house and stood gazing at it for the longest time. It wasn't like me at all to introduce myself to strangers. I don't even like striking up conversations with people I see every day. I guess it's just because I'm shy. I started to practice my introduction to the air.

"Hello, sir.... uh... it's uh... nice to meet you... I've heard a lot about you, sir, and well.... I just.... Oh that sounds stupid! No, no. Uh.... uh....." I stood there without saying a word. I started pacing back and forth on the sidewalk.

Finally, I mustered up the courage to walk to the doorstep. I noticed a plaque above the frame that had a phrase inscribed on it. It read: "Ask and it will be given. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened." I made a weak fist, raised it to the surface of the wood, and gave a reluctant knock.

After a long moment, there was no answer. I thought that I didn't knock loud enough. I slowly knocked again, but more forcefully this time. Still no answer. Maybe he wasn't at home this time of the day. I looked at my watch and made a note to try again at a different time... maybe on another day. I walked away occasionally looking back at the house wondering when I would have enough courage to knock again.

I went through the whole week with that man on my mind. I couldn't fall asleep because I was thinking so much about that afternoon. The phrase above his door kept replaying in my head... "Knock and the door will be opened.... knock.... knock...." It was driving me crazy. I woke up early the next morning shortly after the sun came up. I sat up in bed thinking about going to knock again. Just so I could see him.

Before I knew it, I was dressed, my shoes were tied, and I was walking out of my house toward his in a mission-like manner. Nothing stopped me. Even when I reached the front yard, I kept marching to the door. I didn't hesitate this time. I just knocked long and hard. No answer. I paused for a few moments, read the plaque again, and raised up my knocker. Before I could plant the first one, I heard someone behind me.

"He's not going to open the door for you," he said with his bike handles in each hand, standing a few yards away and erect with a sure facial expression. Surprised and uncertain of what to say, I stood there looking and feeling stupid.

"I.... I just.... wanted to see if he would..."

"Well he's not gonna. I've never seen him before in my life. I'm not even sure if he's alive anymore. I heard that he died years ago. And even if he was alive, he wouldn't let anyone in his house. He's not very hospitable. You have to be in the major leagues, a real VIP, in order to get his attention. You might as well just forget it. Why do you care so much anyway? You want something from him? You down on your luck? Well he ain't no wishin' well. Fat chance you'll get anything out of him."

"Oh.... I see.... well.... thanks for the tip," I said with a melancholy voice.

"Yup." He rode off toward down town.

I turned back to face the door and read those words once more--one last time before I walked away. That was the last time I went to his house for months. And those months became years. My life changed a lot in some ways, but I pretty much stayed the same. I started a career, got married, bought a house and a new car, and had a few kids. Life got so busy, I had almost forgotten about that man. Sometimes when I was alone, I would think about the door and those words, but then I would push that memory away.

Slowly, my life seemed to fall apart. I thought that the one I married was committed to me, but I turned out to be wrong. Money became tighter than ever. My life seemed to repeat itself day after day. It felt meaningless and I fell into a deep depression. I tried to make my laughs sound genuine when my children told me jokes, but they never felt real. One night, I thought long and hard about life--too hard. I started sobbing because of the intense feeling of emptiness.

Then, I thought about the man. My thoughts battled each other.
"Maybe he could.... I don't know.... help me?"
"Help me? With WHAT?! Is he going to rub my head and pat the back of my hand?"
"Maybe he'll listen."
"He's probably not even alive anymore! Don't count on it. He won't even answer his own door."
"Why did he have a plaque that said 'Knock and the door will be open?'"

That phrase again. It gripped me. I could almost feel it... like it was pulling me downstairs toward my front door, through my front lawn and down the street on the sidewalk. I started to jog a little and that jog turned into a sprint through downtown. I zigzagged among groups of people walking on the strip, hopped over fire hydrants a few times, and ignored the comments of people as they saw me running in such an urgent manner.

It was a really strange phenomenon. My body never felt tired even though it was at least a 5 mile trek to the man's house. I finally saw the house from a hundred yards away and my eyes gazed on it until I met the front steps of the door. A chill had settled after the sunset and now that I had stopped running, I felt it even more.

It was the first time in a long time that I stood facing that door. This time there no hint of reluctance. I boldly beat my knuckles against the polished wood. I knocked again and again and again and again. It seemed that several minutes had passed, but I kept knocking. It was as if fire was shooting through my muscles keeping my arm from tiring. Suddenly, the fire quit. I lowered my hand and sighed. I groaned, stomped my foot, sat down on the front step, and started to weep. All hope was completely lost and I didn't know what else to do but sit there and cry until it hurt.

It almost started to hurt until I heard the loud squeak of hinges. Oh, the beautiful, beautiful sound of an opening door! I flung my head around and looked up. There stood the man. He was tall and stately with a handsome face and piercing eyes. My muscles locked.

You know the kind of awkward feeling you have when someone catches you crying on their doorstep?

I shot up, straightened my shirt, and stuck my hand out.
"Hello, sir."

He grabbed my hand and gave a hearty shake.
"I've been waiting for you to come knocking on my door."

I didn't know how to respond to his shocking statement, but before I said something, he invited me inside. I walked in and gazed at his beautiful hard wood floors, elegant walls, and numerous paintings--some where classics and originals and others were finger paintings and framed drawings of stick figures. This really puzzled me. We walked into the library. There was a fire place with two large arm chairs surrounded by book cases that reached the ceiling. I quickly scanned the titles of the books written in gold letters. They were history books, psychology books, botany, chemistry, anatomy, mathematics, economics, physics, philosophy, classic literature, Latin, Greek, gardening, carpentry, culinary, best-sellers, dictionaries and encyclopedias. This guy was smart.

He invited me to take one of the chairs in front of the fire place. When he invited me, he used my name. I had not told him my name before. I was puzzled again, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't speak. Sitting in front of that man was like sitting on top of a mountain. I don't know what it was about him, but I could hardly move and when I did move, it was in very slow, heavy motion.

He asked me what was troubling me and suddenly my mouth started to work again. In fact, I was spilling out words a hundred miles a minute and then tears started to run down my face. Suddenly I found myself kneeling on the floor in front of him. I told him more than I had ever shared with any other person in my entire life--all of my hang ups and pet peeves and failures and depressing thoughts. I felt tension leave my body and this really peaceful feeling loosened my muscles. I felt like I had just left a massage therapist--a really good one. The best one in the world.

I took a deep breath and looked at him. He started talking. The sound of his voice is extremely hard to describe, but it was the best sound I've ever heard. His words were like smooth water and then like fire. He told me things that I wished I had heard years ago. He talked to my depression and sickness like they were robbers in my house. He told them to get out. This would seem strange to anyone listening, but to me, it was exactly what I needed and was the most logical thing in the world to do. I stood up straight and felt strength again. I felt like my life was worth something for the first time.

After meeting him, I have not been the same in any way. The doctors told me that the sickness that was ruling in my body was gone. Money seemed to pour in from unexpected sources. I could laugh real laughs at my children's jokes and pain from my broken marriage was restored when I called and gave forgiveness.

After that night, I have come back to the man's house many times. I've brought my family to see him and there have been many occasions where I've brought complete strangers with me as I was walking to see him. I have never seen anyone like him and never in my life have I seen so many very unlikely things happen nor drastic life change until the night I knocked on his door.

Waiting in the Rain

On this sidewalk
In this big city
People pass by me
Some see that I'm quite giddy
Others give me glances of pity
They don't know that
I'm waiting in the rain for You

Shades of silver and gray
A runny noise
Heavy drops of rain
Damp clothes
My shoes, soggy
But my heart, full of hope
I'm waiting in the rain for You

I hum a sweet tune
Like a little school boy
You'll be here soon
What an overwhelming joy
Using up my patience
I pace back and forth
While waiting in the rain for You

Time has passed
The day grows dimmer
Not sure if I'll last
Waiting begins to glimmer
But hope is still strong
I close my eyes and think
And wait in the rain for You

I think about how you chose me
And I remember how you did it
Your love is the sweetest melody
Like fire without limit
I feel a smile come across my face
And  my tears roll down
As I wait in the rain for You

I feel a nudge on my shoulder
A firm but friendly one
I saw two faces that looked older
The first one asked me a question
"Excuse me, but why are here in the rain?
I answered them as best as I could
I was waiting in the rain for You

I told them all about my Lover
Handsome, righteous, and bold
Anyone's mistakes He's willing to cover
He'll come to take me to a place of gold
And we'll share our love forever
With great passion and eternal excitement
"That's why I'm waiting in the rain, sirs."

"That's ridiculous," said one
As he huffed and stormed away
"Would He come for me too?" asked his son
I said, "Yes" and he chose to stay
He joined me on the sidewalk
And we talked for hours
As we were waiting in the rain for You

Time ticked and the sky grew dark
It started to pour and thunder rolled
Some would give a smart remark
But our reason was always told
We won some over, but lost others
Offended some, but made some brothers
We were all standing in the rain waiting for You

So here I am
Still standing here
This is no scam
The time is near
I won't give up
Even if it's miserable here
I will wait in the rain for You

Christmas is Special

Christmas means a lot more when you tell other people about it. Today in a couple of my classes, I let my students listen to "Away in a Manger."  

Since the two classes are focused on listening comprehension, they had to listen to the song and fill in the blanks with the correct word. We talked about what it means and why people in the U.S. celebrate Christmas.

It's been a while since I felt a special place for Christmas in my heart. I've understood why it's important, but I didn't feel it. Today was the first time in a long time I felt that special feeling about it. I used to feel excited because it meant I would find that Barbie Beetle Bug under the tree. Now, I'm just starting to really understand why people get so excited about it. There's a deeper emotion that wasn't in me before.

Sharing that with people who don't understand or have never heard it before makes Christmas more meaningful.

Stupid, Crazy Stress

None of us liked this class. The professor wasn't a very good teacher and the tests were always beyond anything he taught in class. It was mostly all on us to teach ourselves the information from the textbook and power points. Believe me--it was TONS of information. Complex information. Petty, detailed information.

The exams were not meant to test our understanding. It was a 50 minute multiple choice, true-false, short answer obstacle course to prove that we spent countless hours cramming our heads with this "stuff" we call short-term knowledge. How good were we at being a machine? A facts-container? A lot of us found out with some disappointment.

It was test number three. Our professor passed out the exam and as I received it, I let out an aggressive breath. The kind when you're about to do something that you're not going to like but you've just gotta do it anyway.

I answered the questions on the first page and flipped to the next. I read a few more questions and then it happened.

There was a question that I didn't know the answer to. I totally lost it. Usually when this sort of thing happens to me on a test, I just try to make my best guess and move on. But this time was different. This time I wanted to get up, turn in my incomplete test, and stomp out of classroom. A wave of desperation and hopelessness completely overtook me. I think I even teared up.

I should just leave and then go drop the class. This class is stupid anyway. I don't know why I even need it. I hate this. 


Suddenly, a redeeming thought entered my mind to rescue me. It was a Bible verse I committed to memory.

When the enemy comes in like a flood the Lord will raise up a standard against him.    Isaiah 59: 19


The crazy anxiety storm quieted. I took in a breath and continued taking the test--stabbing every stupid, crazy, frustrating, confusing question with my best answer.


Several days later, our professor distributed our graded tests. We went over the answers. Some argued with him about some of the questions. He bent over backwards and gave us some bonus points. My total score?

99 percent.

I could hardly believe it. God gave me peace. That stupid, crazy stress didn't beat me up. Jesus stepped in and slayed it for me.


It doesn't matter if you have a tough class, a stressful job, a kid who doesn't listen to you, a money-tight season, or a horrifying sea monster in a magical land. We all deal with stupid, crazy stress and we can beat it. Sometimes we let it beat us. But even if that happens, we have a tag team partner and He can deal with it properly.

It's okay to feel pressure, but it's not okay to let that pressure control your decisions and actions. If I had let pressure win while I was taking that test, I would have graduated late. Guarantee it.

If you're following Jesus, you have the strength to walk through high-pressure areas without falling and being carried away. Jesus wants you to know that the enemy isn't as big as he makes himself to be.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you will have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
-Jesus  John 16:33

Best Friend

I tried to log on to my online bank account. It repeatedly claimed that my account was locked down and to call some 800 number to resolve the problem.

I dialed, listened to a computer and responded to the command options. Finally, I was able to talk with a human.

"What can I help you with today?"
"My online account keeps saying that it's locked."

He proceeded to ask me very detailed questions about purchases I had made to verify my account so he could allow me to access it again. He asked me to give answers to my security questions. I remembered and was able to answer all of them correctly, but I had forgotten about a last one.

"And.. there's a fourth question. Do you remember it?"
".....uhh.... I don't remember any other ones."
"It's 'Who is your best friend?'"

An enormous smile stretched across my face.

I answered, "....Jesus...."
"Yes.... Jesus is your best friend..... Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"....No... no, that's all."

Thinking Rightly about Jesus

Over the years and months of being a Christian, my perception of Jesus changes more and more. It gets clearer, deeper, and more intimate. Intimate even to the fact of living and talking to Him like he's my husband.

A passage in the Bible that has become one of my favorites describes Jesus in a way that popular Christianity has failed to do. He is not feeble "girly man" as depicted in much of the classic art of Christianity. (Pardon the term). He's "the man," a noble king who desires the Church like a man desires his bride.

As you read this, imagine yourself saying this to Him:

King Jesus,

"You are the most handsome of them all. 

Gracious words stream from your lips. 

God himself has blessed you forever. 

Put on your sword, O mighty warrior!

You are so glorious, so majestic!

In your majesty, ride out to victory, 

defending truth, humility, and justice. 

Go forth and perform awe-inspiring deeds!

Your arrows are sharp, piercing your enemies' hearts. 

The nations fall beneath your feet. 

Your throne, O God, endures forever and ever. 

You rule with a scepter of justice. 

You love justice and hate evil. 

Therefore God, your God, has anointed you, 

pouring out the oil of joy on you more than

on anyone else. 

Myrrh, aloes, and cassia perfume your robes. 

In ivory palaces the music of strings

entertains you."

Psalm 45: 2-8

And then in verse 10, which can be interpreted as referring to the Church, it says:

"Listen to me, O royal daughter; take heart what I say

Forget your people and your family far away. 

For your royal husband delights in your beauty;

honor him, for he is your lord." 

Jesus is probably more than what you think about Him.
Keep finding out who He really is. 

Sweet-Smelling Fragrance

I love it whenever I get to live what I read from the Bible. This morning, I was moving right along through 2nd Corinthians. I read a passage that I hadn't remembered ever reading before. It was talking about how God uses His followers to "spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume."

Paul keeps writing and says, "But this fragrance is perceived differently by those who are being saved and by those who are perishing. To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume." (2nd Corinthians 2:15-16)

I completely identified with how some people smell a horrible odor when they realize some kind of outreach is going on. "Oh, it's those stinkin' Christians. Trying to invite me out to church. Why don't they invite someone who'll actually come?"

But then, I asked Jesus if it was possible for non-believers to take all this Jesus stuff for what it really is: a sweet-smelling perfume. He answered me this afternoon.

I was waiting on campus for the last international student to come so I could drive her to our ministry leader's house for an international potluck dinner. A few minutes passed by, and then I saw her running up to me, apologizing for being late. I assured her that it was totally fine and we walked to my car, got in and started driving there. We didn't really know each other well, but were talking about random things like majors and events of our day. Suddenly, during a short pause in the conversation, she said, "I feel really peaceful."

Just a few minutes before, she was rushing to be on time, shared that her day was busy, but now she suddenly felt peaceful. "I'm just sitting here... and talk to you... sit in your car and listen to music... and I just feel... peaceful." She kept explaining her feeling, looked out the window at the setting sun and the open field we were passing and shared how life back in her country was so stressful since she lived in a large city.

After talking with her for a few seconds more she also said, "Your voice... it's... it's... uhhh.... hard to describe... it's very.... PEACEFUL! I think God bless me."

I asked if she was a Christian. She said that she wasn't. I was able to explain God's presence to her and she was very receptive.

Once I realized that Jesus had answered my question from this morning, I had to write about it.

Thanks God, for making your children a sweet-smelling fragrance.

A Child's Prayer

On a day like this,
Sun high and grass green
A big hill, a tall tree
Standing just past your knee
You smiling at me

I've never seen such a height
When you fly our kite
I feel ready for flight
And dread the coming of night

How can you make me feel this way?
The way I feel now?
I want to be like you, Friend
Teach me how

How sweet it is,
To make harmony
Whether we laugh or sing
Oh, to hear your voice ring
As our hands gently cling

I see myself in the jewels of your crown
As you lift me from the ground
After spinning me around
With a joyous sound

You gaze in my eyes and stroke my face
Assuring me that I won't fall down
I want to be like you, Father
Teach me how

On a day like this,
On a crowded street
A blind beggar we meet
With crooked fingers and swollen feet
An old blanket for his seat

You quickly stop and learn his name
Listen to a voice filled with pain
For a moment he was lame
But now he'll never be the same

How did you do it?
That miracle just now?
I want to be like you, Super Man!
Teach me how!

On that same street,
Was a pottery stand
The most expensive in all the land
As we walked by, I swung my hand
A hundred pieces scattered like sand

My heart sank and tears welled up
The vendor scolded me about his cup
Feeling like a troubled pup
You surrendered money and lifted me up

You held me close and whispered
"It's all better now."
I want to be like you, Savior
Teach me how

At the bus stop on the corner,
People stand and wait
Hoping not to be late
For whatever meeting or date
Then silence was broken like a plate

You began to shout about right living
And about a God who is forgiving
Some became angry and hate-driven
But one woman wept and confessed sinning

You speak with unashamed fire
Yet deep compassion--How?
I want to be like you, Brave Heart
Teach me right now

On a night like this,
When darkness surrounds me
Though I am afraid of what I can't see
I still know that you're right beside me
Then I stub my toe and scrape my knee

I'm hurting now, Lord
All I feel is pain
My tears fall like rain
Did you leave me in this open plain?

You say, "Be still, child. Here am I."
I still ache, but you're here now
I want to be like you, Prince of Peace
Teach me how

Together in darkness we walked,
Down a moon-lit path through the wood
I didn't wish to speak even if I could
Then we stopped and quietly stood
You calmly and slowly pulled back your hood

Silence grew louder in the stillness
Suddenly, I heard sobs of sadness
A heart broken for those lost in the mess
Of the battle between truth and darkness

I felt the same emotion
I was weeping too
Show me your heart, Broken One
I want to be like you

On a morning like this,
I wake up with hands tied
Dismayed you weren't by my side
A man walked in and said you had died
Desperation rose and I hoped he had lied

I was taken outside and dragged up a hill
Your body was there hanging still
The earth shook as my tears did spill
Why were you the man they had to kill?

You agreed to give up your life
To save a world destruction-bound
How could you do that, Holy One?
I wouldn't know how

On a day like this,
Laying under our favorite tree
Feeling that nothing could cheer me
My eyes closed, I felt someone near me
My eyes opened, "Is it really you I see?"

There you were with new scars but the same smile
You told me you're going away for a while
"Tell others about me and save them from denial.
I will be with you, child, walking mile by mile."

You're in my heart giving me life
Every day I am learning how
To be more like you, Jesus
You're teaching me now

Dark Night Rises

This is a post about the past year of my life--what Jesus pulled me into and then pulled me right back out of. It's why I went almost a whole year without posting a blog and why people would ask me how life was going.

It was my first year of graduate school and the start of my fifth year in my campus ministry, Christ Ambassadors. Without going into much detail... because I really don't remember many details... I don't remember events--it was all a blur. I can just remember how I felt--numb. I would go to church, morning prayer, bible study, lunch with friends, the park, on the back steps of Pogue library (my favorite place on campus) all without vibrancy or vigor or passion. Several times, I would sit in church listening to the pastor give his sermon and afterwards hear my friends talk about how much it meant to them. I had nothing to say. I learned nothing because I had heard that message only seventeen times before. Often times, I'd open my Bible, read it, and then think to myself, "Well... that's what it says..."

I remember making myself list the good reasons why I should go hang out with people or how much I didn't want to go to an outreach event, but made myself go anyway. The only place I wanted to be was in my room laying in my bed talking to Jesus and sometimes weeping because life was bland and colorless and I had lost my desire to dig deep and enjoy life as it was. I felt as if God was so far away because I had lost the feeling of his powerful presence. When I did feel his presence, it was like a light mist of rain, teasing and taunting me with the chance of an intense rainstorm that never came. Life was pretty dry.

I really believe God made me to love adventure and new experiences. Boredom, monotony, and repetition are my worst enemies. Since life was boring, monotonous, and repetitive beyond all reason, I got discouraged and lost confidence. I wasn't able to be satisfied with a task I performed or my choice of clothes that day. Even when people complimented me, it was like salt to a wound. I just preferred if I felt awkward about the unsatisfactory job I believe I did without someone trying to make me feel better about it.

This regression of the meaning of life continued for a long time. I had no idea what was happening to me. Was I in sin? Was it something I said the other day? Seriously, Lord. When are you coming back?! I just wanna go to Heaven.

So, then... another monotonous thing I do every December is go to a conference with my campus ministry. I won't lie, I kinda enjoyed it like I usually do, but there was one time where God decided to tell me what was going on. I was in the prayer room in the conference center and there was a small group of people offering prophetic prayer. I thought, "Why not?"

One of the girls prayed with me for a minute and then she started sharing what she felt like God was saying:

"I don't know how much you know about gardening, but a lot of times when a plant is grown, a good gardener will water away from the plant so the roots can expand and grow deeper. So, maybe your life seems dry right now, but God wants you to know that he is expanding you and stretching you to grow even deeper in Him."

Wow. It made perfect sense. She said other really meaningful things including that God will take me on adventures. YES! ADVENTURES! What I live for!

The next five or six months after this... life was still dry, but I had hope. Occasionally, Jesus would encourage me through things said by my campus pastors, in books, and through Scripture:

Isaiah 50:10
"Who among you fears the LORD? Who obeys the voice of His Servant? Who walks in darkness and has no light? Let him trust in the name of the LORD and rely on God."

Saint John of the Cross talks about this verse in his book called Dark Night of the Soul. I haven't read it, but in another book it makes a reference to this concept. Believers face this season of life where things seem numb and God feels distant and there is no light. It's when God is doing something in the most intrinsic parts of our soul--like surgery. And during the surgery, the patient is experiencing the effects of anesthesia.

In another book, I read a quote from Dark Night of the Soul: "Oh then, spiritual soul, when you see your appetites darkened, your inclinations dry and constrained, your faculties incapacitated for any interior exercise, do not be afflicted; think of this as a grace, since God is freeing you from yourself and taking from you your own activity."

I was so relieved at this revelation. Again, life was still dry, but at least I understood what was happening and that it was important to Jesus for me to go through this.

Finally, the day came when I felt the Niagara falls of freedom. It was after the first week of being in Allegan, Michigan during my training to be a cabin leader at Camp Beechpoint. I was laying in the tire swing of the playground facing the beautiful scene of Lake Dumont. I quietly wispered to the Lord, "So this is it" and I began to cry tears of overwhelming joy and freedom. Life had meaning again and I was able to believe deep in my soul that what I was doing--leading children to Christ--had great purpose.

I have never felt so much freedom and confidence in my entire life. Creativity, wisdom, pleasure, grace, peace, passion, and humor flowed from me. I would wake up without an alarm clock every day... early in the morning to watch the sunrise, hike through the woods, trudge through the shore of the lake, build a sand castle, play piano in the chapel, or watch the fog creep over the stillness of the lake with Jesus--loving his presence and receiving strength that I needed for that day.

And now I'm looking forward to the best semester I have ever experienced.

Coffee Shop

Monday morning
Out of bed I flop
Hair looks like a mop
Drive to the coffee shop

Corner of Stonebridge and Vann
The music sounds like bop
Dollar bills drop
Got a latte at the coffee shop

Burn my tongue
I almost hop
Blow my breath through the top
Sitting in the coffee shop

A lady with head phones
In the corner is propped
Seems like  her music won't stop
Sitting there in the coffee shop

Two guys at the window
Dressed like cops
One wipes his mouth of a glop
Here in the coffee shop

A gray-haired man looks at me
Our eyes meet then his pop
The other way to avoid a social flop
He's looking around in the coffee shop

I scribble an old hymn I memorized
But not wanting to be a slop
Avoiding causes for my pen to plop
Thinking of you in the coffee shop

You sit here, too
Waiting for an op
For my world to stop
So I'll notice you in the coffee shop

The Sweet Hangout

I read John chapter 21 today. Usually, when I read the Bible, I try to read the words with some depth. It's exciting when you can dig deep and pull out something helpful or correcting. There have been a lot of times where I read something and then think, "Wow. I've been doing that. I'm sorry, Jesus. Help me to stop."Even though it's good to study the Bible looking for ways to improve your life, it's not the only thing that makes an intimate relationship with Jesus.

(So back to John 21). This is one of those "Shazam" moments after Jesus rose back to life. His friends Peter, John, Thomas, and Nathanael have been hopelessly fishing all night without a single jerk of the nets. Jesus appears on the beach (SHAZAM!) and shouts over the water, "Hey, fellas. Why don't you throw your net on the other side of the boat and see what happens!" So the disciples are like... "This guy's a little of his rocker, but, shoot, why not?" They do it and then (SHAZAM!) the net's completely filled up with fish. They realize who it is that gave them some amateur fishing advice. "IT'S THE LORD!" Peter hollered as he plunged into the water and swam like a mad man to the beach. When they all get to the shore, Jesus already had some fish ready to eat so they grub out.

What a sweet hangout. What a thoughtful man Jesus was to come back just to hang out on the beach with his friends. He likes to teach us, but it's nice to just chill every once in a while. Jesus wants a relationship like that with us--his children.

He wants to know what you did at school today. He wants to hear about how you ate your favorite food for lunch. He wants to listen to what's been pressing down on you. He wants you to be so excited about hanging out with him that you would jump off a boat and swim menacingly to the beach so you can see Him.

Yeah. Most of the time it's just that simple.

Take me away with you! Let's run off together! 
   An elopement with my King-Lover!
We'll celebrate, we'll sing, 
   we'll make great music.
Yes! For your love is better than vintage wine. 
   Everyone loves you—of course! And why not?
Songs of Solomon 1:4

The Mundane Mystery

This morning I opened my eyes and thought I could hear you singing
You were right where you were when I drifted into a deep dreaming
Thoughts about the day before zip into history
You tell me, “Child, you’re about to dive into a wonderful mystery.”

What could possibly happen? Is every day the same?
Do I not just experience a perpetual game?
Is it like an overused math equation?
A cookie-cutter, cook book, common occasion?

Go to prayer, then to class, at my job say “Mornin’, Mary,”
Grab some grub, exercise, hike to the library
Write a paper, memorize all the books I can carry
After that, Bible study, hang out and make merry

Yes, that’s my plan for this glorious day
Maybe you’re giggling at what I say.
You touch my hand, smirking pleasantly
All at once, my mind floods with creative possibility

What if my roommate shares one of her peculiar dreams
That makes us roar with laughter as loud as screams
While I brush my teeth and slide on my Keds
And make sure my hair doesn’t look like dreds

What if someone prays out loud a prayer that makes me smile
Or a faith-building statement I haven’t heard in a while?
I could pray for my youth pastor who moved to Uganda
And that you’d provide money for my friend to fix their Honda

What if the guy in my class sees I’m not a religious bigot
Just because I wear a Jesus shirt and people don’t dig it
If his realization strikes a conversation
I’d speak with love and truth, not condemnation

What if in the library while studying Spanish numerals
I listen to my iPod, maybe Lecrae or Josh Garrels
And I stop to think about the meaningful lyrics
To rid my mind of the chaotic thought mix

What if I decide to sit on the back steps of Pogue
To read those ancient words you wrote
Would I feel you close to me?
Holding me and whispering gently?

Would I melt right there in your holy presence?
Would I get the feeling of spontaneous effervescence?
Could I picture your heavenly face and feel the holes in your hands?
Would I realize through my tears that you are all my heart demands?

What if I got up and walked on to the next event of the day?
Would I still carry that same presence anyway?
Could I pray for people and see them healed?
Could you use these hands, these actions, these words to have your truth revealed?

What if people wondered about the mysterious splendor
That you put inside my heart when I chose to surrender?
Would they walk right past
Or would they approach me and ask?

I realize you have something more in mind
Than this attitude of the mundane that makes me blind
You already planned today
So now I want to go your way

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24

Fifteen

things I want to say about this season of life.

Disclaimer: This is the most transparent (or, arguably, ambiguous) I've been able to be publicly. I tend to make myself look "all together" or under control or strong or whatever you call it. This time I tried to be honest and clean cut.

1. I'm getting tired of looking for fulfillment in things and people only to realize again that Jesus is my source. It starts with Him first.

2. I'm a 21 year old kid with arthritis in my wrist. I've been praying for healing for almost two years. My Daddy's gonna fix it.

3. My future is going to rock. I just need to really believe that.

4. I am almost to the point of being completely burned out on music... and singing in the shower.

5. I'm so needy. Jesus, hold my hand.

6. On most days, I feel like Ecclesiastes chapter 1.

7. I want to go to Uganda, too!

8. Most of the time, I have nothing to say or I don't know what to say. And when I have something to say, I don't know how to say it.

9. What happened to the "AWE?"

10. My parents are the best. My brother is nice to me. My cousins miss me. My aunt pays for my movie passes. My Papaw is just down right golden. Thank you, Lord.

11. I know a lot of people who don't know Jesus. What I am I supposed to do?

12. Thoughts, stay out of my heart.

13. I have my major for a reason. If I win just one soul, it's worth the 4 years.

14. I don't feel beautiful, but I am. I am.

15. Lord, I don't understand. All I understand is that you love me.



Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Loving Jesus in Korean

Last night, after a weekly campus ministry service, I was planning on going to the library with my friend Lu.

Our other friends, MiHyun and Jinwoo from Korea, were walking with us from the Curris Center. They said they were headed to Fine Arts to hear Jinwoo play the piano.

Lu and I thought it was a good idea to go with them before the homework commenced. We got to one of the practice rooms and Jinwoo pulled out his music book and began playing. I was pleasantly surprised at his skill. He plays extremely well.

He started playing a familiar tune: "Jesus, I believe in you... Jesus I belong to you. You're the reason that I live, the reason that I sing..."

I sang in English while MiHyun sang in Korean.
After our mixed duo, Jinwoo asked me, "Liz, do you know this one?"

I heard the tune to the hymn "As the Deer." I couldn't help but sing it. Then, I sang "Amazing Grace" with Jinwoo accompanying me.

After that, I insisted that MiHyun and Jinwoo sing a Korean song. Hearing them sing to Jesus in harmony was one of the most beautiful sounds I've heard in a long time. After each song, they explained to Lu and I what the Korean lyrics meant.

"The song says... even though I'm living here... on earth... my mind is in Heaven." And the other song meant, "Jesus, I will follow you with my whole heart."

Jesus just keeps on being more and more real to me. He was so obviously in that practice room.
I love Him.

Alive

Ten moments in my life that I've felt most alive.





1. Driving in the pouring rain while scream singing to Skillet with Reid.

2. The second the roller coaster cart descended from the highest point of the Zippin' Pippin' at Liberty Land.

3. Explaining the story about Jesus to an international student and hearing him say, "Wow. It's so clear."

4. When I attempted to unscrew a broken light bulb from my lamp.

5. That day Dad, Reid, and I spent hours playing in monstrous rain puddles.

6. New Year's Eve at SALT 2009.

7. A cappella worship with my first youth group at a place called "Be Rock" that over looks a river, hundreds of trees, and a captivating sunset. June 2000.

8. Hitting a tennis ball against the practice board continuously on a blazing hot day.

9. Sunday morning worship service at International Christian Fellowship Church in Sapporo, Japan.

10. One night on the steps of Pogue Library with Jesus.

Is Jesus worth it?

This is from a recent newsletter from Voice of the Martyrs.

"In Pakistan last year when a radical Muslim mob of about 3,000 came to burn the Christian village of Korian, the Christian families ran for their lives. But 86-year-old believer Baba Qadar could not run. He could not even walk. The mob found him lying on his bed outside his house.

He told us, "My family wanted to take me but I could not run. I forced them to run for safety. I told them, 'Go! I will remain here.' About 20 to 30 of the attackers surrounded my bed. One of them shouted at me, 'You are old, so it is better that you accept the true religion. We will not beat you if you say the Kalma (the Muslim confession of faith).' I said, 'No, no, I will not say this. Burn me or kill me or do whatever you like. I have said my Kalma and that is Jesus Christ.'




1 Peter 1:6-7

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Jesus, PLEASE let me understand that you are way more valuable than my life. Today, if someone threatened to kill me unless I gave you up, I really hope I would say "NO, NO!" If my family stopped supporting me and banned me from coming back home because of you, I pray that I would stay with you. Jesus, I don't want to ditch you if I lost friends because I follow you. Letting things in life distract me from reading your word and spending time with you is evidence that I would give you up and I am so sorry for that. PLEASE! I don't want to stop being with you. I want to be with you forever. No matter what happens to me. You gave it all for me. I want to give it all for you.
For real, Jesus.