I'm in love

"Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings." -Needle, Associate Professor of Psychology at South University, Palm Beach.

Sounds crazy, but that description of the "in love" experience accurately describes my physical and psychological condition from the past week.

It all started last Friday. I was walking down the hall. Earlier, I checked myself in the mirror. Smiled. Arranged my hair. Deodorant check. I left the bathroom rehearsing exactly what I was going to say.

Yeah. I was ready. It was time now.

I entered the room with some confidence and a hint of anxiety. I was about to do something that I had only dreamed about before this moment. I stood straight and took a breath.

"Good morning, everybody!" I said enthusiastically. "How are you doing?"

A dozen faces looked at me with shy smirks. A bold one responded, "Good."

We all introduced ourselves. I spoke and listened with energy and sincerity. I would have this exact experience four more times that day.

I'm in love. Much of my time, thoughts, and pleasure is centered on seventy-eight 18 to 24 year old students from different parts of the world. From China, Taiwan, Kuwait, South Korea, Saudi Arabia, Brazil, and Cyprus. Some of them are talkative and jubilant. Some are silent and pensive. And some seem anxious and unsure about being in a different country trying to learn a language that's way above their heads.

They're among the first things that I think about when I wake up and they're among my last thoughts just before I drift off to sleep. They're the reason I (literally) spring from my bed long before my alarm clock sounds. When the stress of planning for 20 hours of classes each week (which sometimes drives me to lay prostrate on my living room floor) comes like a flood, they're part of the reason I can push myself up and dive into the piles of textbooks, papers, and planners on my desk.

Sometimes, I'm amazed at the opportunity I have to influence these future world-changers. These are the people who will be health care providers, educators, government officials, lawyers, biochemical engineers, C.E.O's of international trade corporations, community development leaders, spouses, and parents.

In two of my classes, I had the chance to share about the notion of having "purpose."

"You know, sometimes, for me, I think.... 'Ugh, why am I alive? What is my life?"
*several heads nod
"Sometimes we lie to ourselves. If you ever think that life is worthless, it is a big lie."
*genuine listening faces
"I promise, you are alive for a VERY good reason."

I have to keep myself from mentioning Jesus, since He's the source of purpose, but I so badly want them to find the Purpose-Giver. The majority of them know nothing about Him.

So this is my purpose: To show them Jesus. To know that when I walk in a classroom, so does He. When I'm explaining vocabulary words, so is He. When I'm grading homework and making quizzes and feeling pressure, He's praying for me to the Father.

He's holding my hand as I walk on these wobbly "first-time-teacher" legs. He builds me up when I majorly blow it. He makes me love the way that I couldn't on my own.

I'm in love with my Jesus who gave me a reason to live my day and do my job with excellence.
I'm in love.
I'm so in love.